The Soft Lounge Blog

Bills: Un-FUCKING-Believable.

49ers 10, Bills 3.

My mother has been in the hospital for the past week now.  Don’t get your knickers in a twist, she’s fine-its all this testing stuff she is having done.  So she’s been laid up in bed watching TV-something she never does-and put on a bit of the football game today.

My mother doesn’t know what a first down is.  My mother doesn’t know how much a touchdown goes for.  She did, however, perfectly dissect what happened to the Buffalo Bills today.
Actually-I take that back:  “happened” implies that they didn’t do that to themselves, but they did.  The Bills couldn’t shoot themselves in the leg anymore if their name was Plaxico Burress.  But lets get to my Mom’s dissection of the game:

That one boy ran all the way down the field.  How come they didn’t keep giving it to him? I don’t know Mom, but you are right-Marshawn Lynch was running all the way down the field all day.  To the tune of 134 yards on (get this) 16 carries.

I’m sorry;  16 carries?  The guy had the ball 16 times and got 134 yards….and you only gave it to him 16 FUCKING TIMES!!!!  Fred Jackson had 5 carries, Roscoe Parrish 1 and Trent Edwards 3 (which don’t count as carries because they were all scrambles) The Bills were never down more than 10 the whole game (and really most of the game they were down just the 7) and we managed to get 16 carries out of a guy who GASHED THE SHIT out of the defense and happens to be one of the HARDEST RUNNERS IN THE SPORT???

If that doesn’t scream fire somebody, I don’t know what does.  Edwards and Losman combined for 38 passes.  Each of them threw the ball more than Lynch ran it.  Neither one of them bested what Lynch did on the ground all by himself.   Completely obnoxious play-calling.

(And how on 4 and 2, when you decide to run it you run it UP THE MIDDLE and give it to JACKSON I have no idea.  Why when Peters has been manhandling guys all day do you run to the right short side of the field and not the long left hand of the field I have no idea).

And that other boy?  The Quarterback is it?  Well he was just standing there and not throwing the ball and nobody was there to help him.  He needed to just go!

My mother, who has watched more paint dry than she has football, has perfectly described JP Losman’s problems.  Happy feet held onto the ball all day and then (take it away Mom:)

When he did run, he ran right into the big pile of men.

Go watch that tape again and you tell me what the hell he was thinking when he scrambled INTO the six linemen available.

Can’t they devise a play where he just throws it straight away so that they don’t have time to stop it?  They only needed to get <a few yards-she said “over that yellow line”>.

Yep.  Timing patterns.  My mom probably out-coached Turk on that play too by calling  a quick slant on 3 and short rather than whatever bomb the Offense and company had lined up.

That coach needs to light a fire under their ass.  They seem to have talented young men out there, but they can’t do anything.  How can you run all that way <Lynch> and not score a point?  Its those coaches…

This team has now gone 1-5 after starting 5-1 and one-completely breaking my football heart for the year.   I don’t care if they win again, or at all.  I just want this season to be over.  The coaching staff pretends like everything is ok.  It isn’t.  It hasn’t been.  It wont’ be as long as they are there.  Instead of playing with urgency this team plays like it is panicking (on offense anyway) and can’t get out of its own way.

How you can lose three in a row at home, including to the Browns and a 49ers team that came across the country to play a game that has no bearing on their season and expect to be a coach in this town next year is beyond me.

I’ll take a cue from Brian on this one and ask-is it April yet?